I Will Seek You

I will seek you

I will seek your face

I will seek you when life leads me on paths that I fear

I will seek you when I'm tempted to hide from jeers

I will seek you when I feel unable

To withstand a life of a different label

I will seek your face when exhaustion draws me away

I will search for you when not inclined to pray

I will seek you

I will seek your face

I will seek you when victory and ecstacy reign in my heart

I will wander searching for you when my rambling pulls us apart

I will lie in your presence within the summer heat

I will shelter between your wing when storms upon the earth beat

I will seek you

I will seek your face

But finally when my journey in this place is complete

And my breath becomes scarce, all suggesting my body will suffer defeat

Then I will truly find you and forever rest in your presence true

And as I rewatch my life I can be happy, knowing that I honestly sought You.

Being

I love to think,

But sometimes it's important just to be.

Like sitting in my bed listening to the rain,

Or enjoying the cessation of pain as I lay down my head.

Its in these moments of being that my life grows and shapes,

That I can focus on The Eternal,

The beginning and the end;

On becoming more of a friend to Him that made me for just that.

Dry

Ezekiel 37 (The Message)
Breath of Life

1-2 God grabbed me. God's Spirit took me up and set me down in the middle of an open plain strewn with bones. He led me around and among them—a lot of bones! There were bones all over the plain—dry bones, bleached by the sun.

3 He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
I said, "Master God, only you know that."

4 He said to me, "Prophesy over these bones: 'Dry bones, listen to the Message of God!'"

5-6 God, the Master, told the dry bones, "Watch this: I'm bringing the breath of life to you and you'll come to life. I'll attach sinews to you, put meat on your bones, cover you with skin, and breathe life into you. You'll come alive and you'll realize that I am God!"

7-8 I prophesied just as I'd been commanded. As I prophesied, there was a sound and, oh, rustling! The bones moved and came together, bone to bone. I kept watching. Sinews formed, then muscles on the bones, then skin stretched over them. But they had no breath in them.

9 He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath. Prophesy, son of man. Tell the breath, 'God, the Master, says, Come from the four winds. Come, breath. Breathe on these slain bodies. Breathe life!'"

10 So I prophesied, just as he commanded me. The breath entered them and they came alive! They stood up on their feet, a huge army.

11 Then God said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Listen to what they're saying: 'Our bones are dried up, our hope is gone, there's nothing left of us.'

12-14 "Therefore, prophesy. Tell them, 'God, the Master, says: I'll dig up your graves and bring you out alive—O my people! Then I'll take you straight to the land of Israel. When I dig up graves and bring you out as my people, you'll realize that I am God. I'll breathe my life into you and you'll live. Then I'll lead you straight back to your land and you'll realize that I am God. I've said it and I'll do it. God's Decree.'"

"When hope is gone, I'll call You Saviour" I've Had Questions by Tim Hughes.

Lent Project

Another attempt at a daily photo blog for Lent 2009. Not been quite so strict this year (attempt not to become dogmatic!) but have tried to take a pic of something interesting every day. Doing lots of on-calls so you may notice a theme developing around views of Manchester from 7th floor on-call room!

I've just read...

A quick update on a couple of books I've just read in the Christmas period...

The Shack - a great allegory all about God.

God's Undertaker: Has Science Buried God? - A brilliant but concise look at the relationship between science and faith.

Slavery

Since attending The Stand in November in Birmingham, I've really been thinking a great deal about modern day slavery and human trafficking. For those who aren't aware, slavery still happens today. In fact, it's incredibly common, even in the developed world. People are also trafficked across borders, having been tricked into working for nothing, and children are exploited as labourers. Pretty much every industry you can think of is affected by this, from steel manufacture to coffee, from chicken packing to prostitution.

I'm still trying to work out what my response to this sudden burst of knowledge and conviction is: I'm starting by writing about it here, telling people I know, and trying to increase my awareness.

These are some of the sites I'm using to find more information, and some of the people who are actually doing something.

Anti Slavery International

Stop the Traffik

Hope for Justice

The Ethical Trade Initiative

My feeling is that ordinary people like me need to get involved shouting for justice for those who are being exploited in this way. I think the church should be united in an obvious and vocal way against slavery and trafficking - our consumer power is massive and together we have a loud voice. We can use this opportunity to stand for those who are not able to support themselves, to care for the broken and needy in society - to do just what Jesus intended.

Schmap

I've been absent in my posting for a while due to job change related stress and general work related low moodness (see below), but now am up and about a bit more creatively. Since last posting, I've updated my myspace with some new electronic music, and I'm working on more. I've started worship leading at Intention, ABC's youth group which is turning out to be really exciting, and I'm taking photos again. Whilst exploring various bits of Manchester with Lorna, we visited Castlefield (was up and coming a few years ago, now fairly firmly arrived). I took a few photos, posted them to my flickr website and one of them has been selected for use on a website guide to Manchester, called Schmap. This looks a great guide to the city and is growing all the time, so definitely worth taking a look (see my sidebar to the right on this very blog). It also has guides to numerous other cities around the world, and can be accessed on your I-phone for trendy types.

Reading my previous post, I'm slightly embarrased to admit that despite all my wordly wealth, beautiful wife, wonderful family and friends I've been very low in mood for the last couple of months. Whilst my own recent stress has not been in the league of Brother Yun and friends (see below), I can similarly testify that during this low patch I've had a great sense of God walking with me (probably carrying me really!) I had not really known whether the path I've been following has been right, or whether I had the emotional reserves to follow it, but I've known that he has a plan and would be with me through all of it no matter how steep it seemed. Through times talking with friends, studying The Bible, in prayer and in church, I've heard Him assure me I am doing what He wants, where He wants me to do it, and this has given me strength to re-emerge from "just coping" to "truly living".

I'm writing this having spent the weekend in the sun, in Manchester and Altrincham (food festival and our little garden). Like the rainbow after the flood in Noah's story, the beautiful weather this weekend feels like a seal to the promise He has made to me. In times when I'm feeling sorry for myself, finding life hard or generally going through a low patch in the cycle of life I must try and think back to these glimpses of beauty, and focus on the gifts that God gives me day-to-day.

Brother Yun

I've just finished reading the book "The Heavenly Man", by a Chinese pastor called Brother Yun. It chronicles the story of his life thus far and is an account of horrific persecution of him and the Chinese church by their authorities. However, the overwhelming message is one of hope and encouragement for the help that God gives, even during our lowest points in life.

This book has challenged me massively - to focus on the important things if life and to try and re-centre my life on Jesus. It's a scary prospect as not many figures in the bible or in history who go "all out for Him" have a very nice time, but with the knowledge that He went through worse for us on the cross we can learn that the physical life is not all there is.

I dare you to read it!

Radical Christianity

In our house group we've been talking occasionally about how comfortable we are as Christians - as though we are in a social club rather than a life changing faith. An interesting article at Ekklesia seems to suggest we need to become more radical, in line with the social upheaval suggested by Jesus' teachings.

Looking at the front page of the BBC News website its easy to see there are increasing opportunities to express the life giving nature of the Gospel - tax demands on low income households, rising food prices, torture and death in Zimbabwe and Sudan to name a few.

I pray, Lord that we will not be found wanting...

The power of prayer!

Bizzarely, this is a really heartwarming story about a gent who had a little accident in his car, but thanks to prayer and some friends ended up none the worse for wear...

Scapegoat

I'm finding more information on the scapegoat philosophy that I was referring to earlier. An old 'Thought for the day' reminds me of how cruel we can be using the media to crush people and remove their dignity. There are some interesting relfections relating to humanity's scapegoating of Jesus on the cross at 'Girardian Reflections on the Lectionary' which give us an idea of Girard's theory. There's also a great interview and summary of his work at Touchstone archives.

Easter

Happy Easter everyone! Christ's resurrection on the cross offers us all hope for the future and the chance to start again in the present. I've just finished reading an excellent article by Giles Fraser on the Ekklesia website which offers a controversial but really interesting perspective on the season and the behaviour of some prominent Christians and points towards work by a French philosopher, Girard. I've heard a friend of mine, Andy, talk about this guy before, so I think I should check out some of his work before long...

The arrival of Easter also heralds the end of my Lent Photo Project. Every day this Lent I've taken a photo, trying in some way to be an act of worship to God. Judge for yourselves whether I've managed it and I'd love to hear what you think...

The atheist delusion

Definitely worth a look if you're fed up of hearing that Richard Dawkins is a 'scientist'!

My Lent Project

Disintergrating leaf, originally uploaded by petersandbach.

For Lent this year I've decided to do something positive as an act of worship to God. This entails taking a photo a day for the duration of the season, ostensibly detailing God's creation (but actually ranging far and wide into all sorts of subjects!). Feel free to check the pics out and I'd love to hear what you think...

Up North

Hello all,

Well, we're finally settling in up in Manchester, so I thought I'd better at least try and get back in to updating the ol' blog.

It's only been 4 months since I moved up (3 since Lorna joined me) but it feels like we've been here for ever. We've settled into a town called Altrincham, just south of Manchester city centre, which has trams into the city but it's own little town centre which is very well serviced for restaurants and bars. That might explain why we were so attracted to it!

We've joined a church, Altrincham Baptist Church, which is a large, vibrant family church with lots going on. We're slowly getting into going to house group and getting to know lots of new people who all seem very nice. I think I'll hold off getting involved with doing too much for the moment, until we get more settled, but we have already helped decorate a new community centre which the church is taking over.

Work is busy as ever! I'm based at Wigan hospital, working in the theatres and intensive care unit. I'm also sitting postgraduate exams (the Fellow of the Royal College of Anaesthetists this time) - I recently passed one, quite miraculously, and I'm sitting another at the end of January which I don't have high hopes for (as always!)

Lorna is currently locumming as a GP, so spends lots of time trying to navigate around greater Manchester finding GP surgeries, which are usually in really obscure places! She starts a permanent job in February in Warrington in a lovely practice, so that's a real answer to prayer.

On a sadder note, my Grandad fell recently and broke his hip. Fortunately, Broomfield patched him up and he's on the mend now, but we're not really very sure about the future, whether he'll cope living with mum and dad, etc. That happening really made me miss Essex and being close to everyone.

We often wander how all is in Bicknacre and St Andrew's, and we continue to pray for everyone. In many ways we miss being so close, but we're so blessed in lots of other ways and joining another exciting and vibrant community and absence definitely makes us realise how much we love everyone down in Essex. Life really suits us up here and we can't wait to get involved in more stuff (and try out Altrincham's Michelin starred restaurant, Juniper). We've already had some visitors from Essex and we're looking forward to loads more, we've made an offer on a house near where we're renting a flat, and we're starting to make some friends here. The next step is to start to explore some of the amazing scenery up here, like the Peak District and the Lakes!

Thanks for all your prayers through what has been a busy and emotional time - I'll try and update a bit more regularly from now on! God bless...

Manchester

Following on from last month's post, I have accepted my job in Manchester after lots of hard praying and thinking. It has been a very hard decision to make, but both Lorna and I felt that God was pushing us in this direction, and many of our friends have confirmed this with their advice. Obviously we are sad to leave Bicknacre, but we can't wait to see what's in store for us up north. I'll be using this blog to keep you updated, but due to the obscene amount of stuff we have to do in such a short time, there may be even fewer posts than normal!

Does God read the Independent?

An advert appeared in The Independent yesterday, reportedly from God, speaking directly to George Bush! For the full text go to http://www.forgodssake.org/, and for an amusing comment check out Ekklesia.

Still waiting

Sorry to harp on, but we're still waiting to find out where we're going to be working in August - we may not be told until the beginning of June now! I think this is deeply unfair, especially as many people will have to sell their houses and move children to new schools. As junior doctors, we're not seen by politicians as humans, just machines to be exploited. Well I suppose MTAS, the computer applications system for these jobs has at least been scrapped, although the underlying structure beneath it, MMC is still ploughing on through! Lorna and I just have to try and keep our faith in God - that he will make good out of whatever happens...

On another note, Christianity magazine this month is fantastic - if you don't buy it - I'd thoroughly recommend it. I think it certainly has some messages for me, and our church...

Sometimes it rains

Well, regarding the job thing - the government have delayed telling us whether we have a job or not, to try and rejig the computer applications system so it's fairer. Actually what they're ending up doing is changing it so that it's equally unfair for everyone! Therefore, we now have to wait until June for a final answer. Whether they'll fill the posts in time for the 1st Augsut when every junior doctor's contract runs out at the same time remains to be seen!

In life, we find that sometimes it really does rain - burdens seem to pour onto our already soaked backs, weighing us down and dampening our spirits. I want to share our last couple of weeks with you (if you don't mind being shared with!)

It started when our Nissan Micra boot clamped shut - it wouldn't open no matter what we did! Lorna had some important documents in there so we had to weasle our way past the back seats. Then I found out that the Mazda's coolant was still leaking despite having paid for a new radiator to supposedly sort out this problem at the beginning of the year. Then the shower broke...

We've just had a new kitchen fitted. Two days after it was put in the brand-new tap busted and wouldn't turn off. In the process of purchasing a new one at B&Q, I got a punctured tyre on the way home and in the process of fitting it, I put my neck into spasm which took me out of work for three days and was agonisingly painful. To finish off last week, Lorna got one of her worst migraines for years, which laid her out for Friday and half of today.

Whilst none of these things really are particularly disastrous, they add up to generate a pretty horrible time, especially when you're trying to revise for exams, worry about job security and work full time! Without the support of our family, friends and most of all God, we'd be in even worse states than we are. Jesus says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"  (Matthew 11:28)  The Bible also said of Jesus: "And he will be called...Wonderful Counselor..." (Isaiah 9:6)

He wants to help us with our problems, to be there with us in our pain, and to hold us when we're going through turmoil. We just have to let Him, and to learn to let Him in...

Interested?  Have a look at Rob Bell's short films at Nooma.com particularly at his title "Rain".

New church website

Loads of stuff seems to be happening at church at the moment - Alpha, Lent groups as well as the usual murder mystery and quiz nights! I'm a bit gutted that work and job seeking is so all encompassing at the moment - and work could even take us away from Essex to another part of the country altogether. Still, one thing I've been involved with is the church website at http://www.bicknacrechurch.org.uk. At the moment it's very basic, but we're working on a new improved version which should be online shortly! I'll try and keep you updated...